Eden VerBeek

The questions can feel relentless at times. If you felt like your mind was busy or overworked before loss, you may feel that even more deeply now. Personally, my thoughts often spiral into questions like: What if? Should I have…? Could I have…? Since losing Mason, there have been moments when my mind has felt like an unsafe place. It returns again and again to questions that don’t have clear answers. It lingers on possibilities—the ones that might have changed everything. These thought loops...

When we lost Mason, there were big questions lingering in my heart. Where was God in that triage room? Where was He during labor and delivery? Was He with me? Did He care? Because if I’m honest, it was hard to see Him in those moments. Hard to feel that He was there with us, holding us and giving us strength. He felt distant. Which left us feeling terrified, heartbroken, and anxious. I didn’t ask “Where is God?” in an angry way, or even in a questioning-His-existence kind of way. It was...

A reflection on grief, presence, and what grieving parents truly need.